🎯 In 30 seconds: The aim is to make scams harder while your relative stays in charge of their own money. In one visit: update the devices, secure the email and phone, turn on bank alerts, name a trusted contact at each brokerage, agree on a family code word, and write down a short “never” list. Ask before you change anything.
Start with permission
Scammers often aim at older adults because they are more likely to have savings built up and to pick up calls from unknown numbers. Treat the visit as a setup you do together, not a takeover. Ask what worries them, show each change, and leave them able to undo it. People who feel in control are more likely to call you when something seems off.
The setup visit checklist
| Area | What to do together | Time |
|---|---|---|
| Updates | Turn on automatic updates on the phone, tablet and computer. Check whether any device has reached end of support. | 20 min |
| New unique password, two-step login, recovery phone that is theirs. Check forwarding and filters. | 20 min | |
| Passwords | A password manager if they will use it. If not, a written password book kept at home in a drawer, never in a wallet or next to the computer. | 20 min |
| Phone | Turn on the carrier’s free spam-call filtering and the phone’s option to send unknown callers to voicemail. Add a carrier account PIN. | 15 min |
| Bank alerts | Text or app alerts for withdrawals, transfers and card charges above a set amount. | 15 min |
| Brokerage | Name a trusted contact person (below). | 10 min |
| Credit | Freeze credit at the three bureaus if they don’t plan to open new credit. It is free. | 30 min |
The trusted contact at a brokerage
FINRA, the brokerage industry’s regulator, describes a trusted contact as something like an emergency contact for an investment account. The firm may reach out to that person if it can’t reach the account owner or suspects fraud, exploitation or a health problem. The trusted contact must be 18 or older, can’t place trades, can’t see the balance and can’t make decisions. That makes it a low-risk way for a son or daughter to be the person who gets a call, without having power over the money.
Agree on a code word and a “never” list
The FBI suggests a secret family word to check that an emergency caller is who they claim to be, because voices can be faked with AI. Write the list below on a card and tape it inside a kitchen cabinet:
- Never pay anyone with gift cards, a wire, cryptocurrency or a crypto ATM. Government agencies and real companies don’t ask for these.
- Never let a caller connect to your computer.
- Never read out a code that was texted to you.
- Never move money “to keep it safe” because a caller said your account is compromised.
- Hang up and call back on a number you already have. Then call [family member’s name].
A worked example: setting alert levels for Ruth
Ruth, 78, keeps about $21,000 in checking and spends about $2,400 a month from it. Her largest normal single payments are $640 for insurance twice a year and about $180 at the grocery store. Her son and she choose:
- A card alert for any charge above $200, which catches almost nothing normal except the insurance bill, so each alert is worth reading.
- An alert for every transfer and every ATM withdrawal, since scams usually move money that way.
- A daily debit card limit of $500 if her bank lets her set one, so a stolen card or pressured withdrawal is capped. Over a week that limits the damage to at most $3,500 instead of the full $21,000.
Ruth gets the alerts on her phone. With her permission, her son gets a weekly look at statements through the bank’s view-only access if it offers one, rather than being added as a joint owner, which would give him legal rights to the money.
Plan for later, while it is easy
- Apple Legacy Contact and Google Inactive Account Manager let a person choose who can reach their photos and files after death or long inactivity.
- Write down where things are: which banks, the password book or manager, and the phone carrier. Keep it with the will.
- A financial power of attorney is a legal document; an elder law attorney can explain the options in your relative’s state.
If a scam gets through
Call the bank first to stop or recall money. Then call the National Elder Fraud Hotline run by the Justice Department, 833-FRAUD-11 (833-372-8311), Monday to Friday, 10 am to 6 pm Eastern. It is free and helps people 60 and older or anyone calling for them. The Money Theft & Forensics page has the full recovery steps.
- Can a brokerage trusted contact place trades? Answer: No. They can only be contacted by the firm in limited situations.
- Why prefer view-only access over adding yourself as a joint owner? Answer: A joint owner gets legal rights to the money.
- What phrase in a call should mean “stop and call family”? Answer: Any request to keep it secret from family or the bank.
- What is the National Elder Fraud Hotline number? Answer: 833-FRAUD-11 (833-372-8311).