🎯 In 30 seconds: Parental controls help, but the conversation does more. Set controls on every device, keep accounts private, and tell your child now, before anything happens, that they can come to you about anything online without losing their phone. If a teen is being threatened with images: don’t pay, stop replying, keep the messages, report, and use NCMEC’s free Take It Down tool.
Start with the talk, not the settings
The FTC’s guidance on parental controls says the same thing in several ways: controls back up family rules, they don’t replace them. Kids find gaps, use a friend’s device or set up a second account. What protects them when that happens is knowing they can tell you.
One promise matters most: “If something online scares or embarrasses you, tell me. You won’t be in trouble and I won’t take your phone for telling me.” Children who fear losing their device often hide threats until it is too late.
Controls by age
The built-in tools are free: Apple Family Sharing and Screen Time for iPhone and iPad, Google Family Link for Android and Chromebooks, and Microsoft Family Safety for Windows and Xbox. Games and social apps have their own settings too.
| Age | Common setup | Talk about |
|---|---|---|
| Under 10 | Approve every app and purchase; content filters on; device used in shared rooms | Never share your name, school or address online |
| 10 to 12 | Approve new apps; contacts limited to people you know; game chat off or friends only | People online may not be who they say |
| 13 to 15 | Private accounts; location sharing off in apps; screen-time limits agreed together | Sextortion, scams, why requests for photos are a red flag |
| 16 to 17 | Fewer controls, more check-ins; strong passwords and two-step login on their accounts | Money scams, job scams, and what to do if hacked |
Federal law (COPPA) requires sites aimed at children under 13 to get a parent’s consent before collecting a child’s personal information, which is why many apps set 13 as the minimum age.
Sextortion: what it looks like
Sextortion is blackmail: someone gets, or claims to have, a nude or sexual image of a young person and threatens to share it unless they send money, gift cards or more images. NCMEC lists red flags in its guidance. In plain words:
- A new “friend” who knows about your child’s interests or school, often posing as a teen of the opposite sex.
- A quick request to move to a different app with video or disappearing messages.
- “I’ll show you if you show me,” or flattery that turns into requests for photos within days.
- Threats to make fake explicit images using editing or AI tools, even when no real photo exists.
Signs a child may be a target: sudden withdrawal or anxiety around the phone, asking for money or gift cards with no clear reason, or deleting accounts in a panic.
If it happens: steps for a teen or parent
- Don’t pay or send anything more. NCMEC notes that paying rarely stops the threats.
- Stop replying and block, but don’t delete the account or the messages. Screenshot the profile, usernames and threats.
- Report the account in the app.
- Report to NCMEC’s CyberTipline at report.cybertip.org or 1-800-843-5678, and to the FBI at tips.fbi.gov or 1-800-CALL-FBI. Call 911 if anyone is in immediate danger.
- Use Take It Down (takeitdown.ncmec.org) for images taken when the person was under 18. It makes a digital fingerprint of the image on your own device; the image itself is never uploaded, and participating platforms use the fingerprint to find and remove copies. It is free and can be anonymous.
- Remind your child: the blackmailer is the criminal. Your child is the victim.
A newer federal backstop: under the TAKE IT DOWN Act, since May 19, 2026, covered platforms must offer a way to request removal of intimate images shared without consent and remove them within 48 hours of a valid request. The FTC enforces it and takes complaints about platforms that don’t comply at TakeItDown.ftc.gov.
A worked example: the Chen family plan
The Chens have Mia, 9, and Sam, 14. They agree on these numbers:
- Screen time: Mia gets 1 hour on school days and 2 on weekend days: 5 × 1 + 2 × 2 = 9 hours a week. Sam gets 2 and 3: 5 × 2 + 2 × 3 = 16 hours a week, with homework apps not counted.
- Purchases: Mia must ask for every purchase. Sam has a $15 monthly game budget; anything above needs approval. That caps game spending at $180 a year instead of the surprise $240 charge they had last spring.
- Accounts: Sam’s social accounts stay private, with location off, and DMs only from people he follows.
- Phones charge overnight in the kitchen, which keeps late-night chats with strangers out of the bedroom.
They review the plan every September. For the family’s money side, see Budget.
- What is the most useful promise to make your child? Answer: They can tell you about anything online without getting in trouble or losing their phone.
- A teen is being blackmailed. Should they delete the messages? Answer: No. Block and stop replying, but keep the messages as evidence.
- Does Take It Down upload your image? Answer: No. Only a digital fingerprint leaves the device.
- How fast must covered platforms remove reported intimate images under the TAKE IT DOWN Act? Answer: Within 48 hours of a valid request.